It's finally here, after close to 15 years, they mythical Duke Nukem Forever has arrived... But was it worth the wait? Does it live up to the hype?
It's actually a matter of personal opinion, either you hate Duke or you love him and the fact this game will market to different ages for different reasons is a factor of why I think the "pros" have dumped all over this game.
Younger fans will see the boobs and want it, they also possibly expected a Call of Duty style game (Ha, go home fucko) and the older fans will want it because it's Duke.
The game itself has been in development hell most of it's life, it's changed hands more times than Pamela Anderson, It's been scrapped and re-started from scratch a fair few times and the development team in charge of it doesn't actually exist.
3D realms died a rather painful death which effectively killed off the Duke Nukem series, until Gearbox and 2K said "Nuh-uh, Dukes a legend, he deserves at least one more go", so they acquired the rights and finished released 3D realms rather disfigured child.
Graphics 6.5
I'm not going to lie to you, this game definitely shows it's age, in some places it looks fantastic and others it looks like ass. Plain and simple.
The graphics are something you'd see in a game from 2007, like Clive Barkers Jericho, they look well polished, but they have that shine to them which gives the world a PVC feel, although I'll admit, it does look quite well in the alien hive.
At other times, it doesn't like you can tell where the development process has been altered, and the city-scape looks less than impressive, it's almost PS2-like, but you hardly see it all that often.
The game does look good and the low end graphics actually compliment the game quite well, the game is a blast from the past, a classic FPS shooter and the graphics seem to fall in line with that setting.
But saying that, character detail is fantastic, so are some of the level set-pieces, it's all a bit hit and miss.
All in all, the graphics hold up, but they aren't nothing to go ape-shit about
Gameplay 8
This is where the game shines, it's a classic FPS.
Most FPS games now have you manning some nameless grunt for some balls-to-the-wall non-stop action, you move from one set piece to the next blasting the shit out of everything in your way... Duke says "Fuck that"
This is Dukes game and you're just along for the ride, the very first level in Dukes penthouse apartment is designed specifically to put you in Nukems shoes, and performing "Duke like actions" (Taking a piss, checking yourself out in a mirror, punching an alien in the bollocks) further cements this type of roleplay, for better or worse, when it comes to this game, you are Duke Nukem, either deal with it or fuck off.
Like I said, it's classic in design, the levels are linear, but they don't feel it. It combines shooting, puzzle solving, driving and platforming, just like the FPS games of yesteryear.
One of my favourite levels so far has duke shrunk down to the size of an action figure and you have to platform your way around an over-sized kitchen to rescue a burger-making "babe" who's surrounded by electrified water.
I also surprisingly enjoyed "Titty City" No shooting at all, your mission: To search a strip club so you can find popcorn, a vibrator and a condom. I kid you not.
Fans of old-skool FPS games should enjoy this title, the new fuckers of the "online generation" who are expecting another CoD clone can go fuck off! You won't find any of that crap here.
The game can be a little unforgiving though with tough boss fights and the enemy AI, while not exactly smart is aggressive as hell.
Still, you can't beat scaling a skyscraper in the middle of an alien invasion.
The game is definitely fun, and hilarious, it doesn't take itself seriously, which is a good thing, if it did... Then it wouldn't have that Duke Nukem charm to it.
And there are many, many pop culture references throughout the game, I dare you to try and find them all.
The only thing that really annoys me is the 30-40 second loading screen whenever you die... You'll be seeing it a lot (special mention to the Octaking who will kill you more times than you'd care to count!)
Sound 9
This score gets extra points simply because of Dukes one-liners and Dukes theme in the opening movie (which doubles up as a "previously on Duke Nukem" type of video, re-capping the events of Duke Nukem 3D)
There are so many little sounds here and so much attention to detail within the sound design that it's a crime people won't ever really notice.
Everything from flicking a lightswitch to xeroxing your ass has it's own sound, when a window breaks, you hear it break with a typical breaking sound, but when it cracks and shatters instead, you get a different sound instead of the same window breaking sound effect.
The voice acting is superb because it's so over-the top, which it's meant to be, a bit like a bad sci-fi movie. All except Duke who keeps cool all the way through
Each weapon has it's own distinct sound as does pretty much everything else, beer cans being crushed sound spot on, the steroid pills shaking about the bottle sound convincing.
The sound design for this title is superb.
Story 5
Yeah, not much here I'm afraid, aliens come, steal Dukes babes and piss him off causing him to go on a killing spree (because nobody steals Dukes babes and lives!).
It's all that's really needed.
There is a bit more of it than that and there is actually a narrative, but that's the gist of the story.
Typical Duke.
Overall 7.5
Dukes back, whether you like it or not, the game is a fun, over the top title with some decent length, good humour and big guns... And if you're into that kind of things, plenty of babes, boobs, brews and alien wall titties to slap about.
It's more for fans of the older FPS games, those who played them during the 90's. The new breed of gamer probably won't appreciate this gaming time-capsule for what it is, which is a shame. It's been nice to play something that doesn't feel like another Call of Duty clone, games of which over-saturate the FPS market.
The game may not be anything original but it is a nice change (and in my opinion, most welcomed)
What irks me though is the sales will justify a sequel, but will they modernise Duke? Will developers listen to the criticisms that he's a clichéd meathead throwback to the action stars of the 80's? That the humour is childish and the gameplay too outdated?
It wouldn't be a Duke Nukem game if they changed anything, if anything they should keep it all as is and just make it look good... Damn good, it seems that most people seem to care too much about graphics so if it looks more than just a polished turd, people will probably enjoy it.
I say Duke Nukem Forever is at least worth playing through once. Personally, I find it to be a fun game and well worth my money, others do not share my views... But you should still give it a try.
Even if you're a new gamer, this is worth playing, for a look back at what games used to be like before Modern Warfare muscled it's way into the FPS mindset, if anything.
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