Golden Axe

Before I get started, you may have noticed that I never gave the names of what platforms this game is available on, simply because there are too many to note and doing so would make it an absurdly long title.
But, in case you're curious, I shall note them now.
Arcade, Sega Mega Drive/Genesis, Sega Master System, DOS, Amiga, Atari ST, Amstrad CPC, Commodore 64, Arcade Legends Sega Genesis Volume 1, Mobile phone, iOS, TurboGrafx-CD, Virtual Console, WonderSwan Colour, Xbox Live Arcade, ZX Spectrum, Playstation 3 and PSP (As part of the Sonic's ultimate Genesis/Megadrive Collection) and Xbox 360 (Also as part of the Sonic's ultimate Genesis/Megadrive Collection) as well as many mobile phone devices
One can also say it has appeared on the Playstation 2 as part of the Sega Ages collection, though that was a remake, but it's almost an exact replica so I think I'll throw it in the bag too.
And Golden Axe: Beast Rider seems to be a re-imagining of the original Golden Axe, but I'm going to leave that as a seperate game as it is neither a port, re-release or upgrade (as the Sega Ages game was)



Like my "review" of Alexx Kid in Miracle World, my view of this game my be biased as it was another that I enjoyed to play as a child. Yet it is also an almost legendary game amongst gamers and almost revered as godly by some.
Largely inspired the Conan universe, Golden Axe is a fun, yet challenging game set in a barbaric age where myth, fantasy and legend are as one... And even to this day, each playthrough is as magical and rewarded as the first time you played.
Aside from it's many ports the game has three sequels under it's belt (one of them being arcade only), several spin off's and the vastly underrated reboot/re-imagining, Golden Axe Beast Rider (which I shall look at, at a later date)
This blog review will look mainly at the Sega Megeadrive version.
Lets begin, shall we.



Graphics 7

No, I'm not being generous, they truly are that good, You can clearly see everything, the sprites are quite smooth and there is so much detail it's unbelievable, like the Amazonian, Tyris Flare, it's possible to see her belly button, or Ax-Battlers abs.
The building designs also offer up great detail by marking out each brick in a stone structure, each cobble on a floor... The backgrounds in the first level are desolate, giving a sense of death upon the land, the dungeons are dark and gloomy.
Even the little gnomes with their big bulging sacks are detailed with a mischievous grin upon their faces... All until you give them a kick up the arse and it changes to either orgasmic relief as you've wedged your foot so far up it's rectum before sending them flying through the air it did something with their G-Spot (maybe the G in G-Spot is for Gnome?) Or because they are so utterly shocked that you'd resort to playing football with their little lemming-like bodies.
Either way, they deserve it... The thieving fuckers.
Where was I?... Oh yes.
The enemies are also nicely designed, especially the knight on the third stage and Death Adder, both look menacing and make you think twice about attacking them as the slowly walk towards you.
The only problem I do have is with the skeletons, they always look goofy and remind me of Sloth from The Goonies.



Gameplay 10

Honestly now, did you expect anything less? It's the reason why that after 21 years, we still enjoy playing it.
It's the original and best and shall never be matched.
There's just so much to do in this game it's unbelievable, especially for a hack n' slash of it's time.
Aside from picking your warrior (I always picked Tyris, because she's a badass) and prodding and slashing everything in sight with your weapon, you do need strategy.
Enemies will swarm and flank you making you question if now is the right time to attack, if it's the right time to use magic or if you should use totally cheap spam attacks (Running attacks)
Sometimes, if the level permits it, it's possible to despatch your enemy by tricking him into charging you, and at the last minute side-stepping his (or her) attack so that they go flying off the edge of the level.
Tactics like this are useful as if an enemy gets you in his attack, he may drain a few lives from your metre, and you'll need everything you can get.
The Bizzarians also add another element of strategy to this game as they can allow you to turn the tide of the battle.
I think everyone smiled with glee the first time they knocked the enemy from their mount, only to claim it for themselves, and thus a battle for the beast began with you, your foes and sometimes your own allies.
Magic is another useful tool, Gillius has electrical magic, Tyris wields fire and Ax-Battler has earth.
Each is upgradable by the sense of picking up potions from gnomes, but Tyris seems to have the biggest advantage (and the coolest) in terms of magic as her bar holds 8 slots, and filling them up and unleashing the dragon is always a marvellous thing, quickly followed by the magic that remains, one after another... Glorious.
As I've mentioned, the game is rather hard, but with some practice and knowledge of the enemy you face and the stage you battle in, it's easy to anticipate their spawn locations and their attacks making victory quite a reachable thing.



Sound 7

Again, I shit you not.
The sounds in this game are incredible, enemies crash into the ground with a thud when you send them crashing to the stony earth, they scream in pain as they flicker and die, swords whirl through the air creating that cool whipping sound and you can even hear them slice through skin and bone.
The dragons roar, sledgehammers thump, lances thwack and axes hack. Skeletons crumble with a melodic patter as fire rises from the depths of the earth with crackling noise.
Rocks explode as they are hurled through the air, lighting hisses as it descends to the ground, frying all those who dare bare it's path, villagers scream in terror, the already dead... Stay absolutely silent.
All set to a brilliant soundtrack that is as legendary as the game itself, each piece of music fits the level perfectly and sets the mood for the upcoming struggle.
I don't think there's a gaming soul on this planet that doesn't know the music for the first level.
Truly, 'tis a beautiful thing.



Story 6

I know, I'm being over generous with this... But hey, told you I was biased... Or am I?
The plot is fairly simple by all means, Death Adder has taken over the land and under his reign follows a time of darkness, three adventurers seek to stop him and return the rightful king to the throne.
But each adventurer has their own reason for wanting to end Death Adders tyrannical reign.
Ax-Battler's mother was murdered by Death Adder
Tyris Flare's mother and father were killed by Death Adder
Gillius Thunderhead's brother was killed by Death Adder
They all share a common backstory, but it's the fact they seem to be acting out of revenge that makes their actions interesting.
And in the end, when all is said and done, you're requested to perform one last task for the king, it's not over, and so our heroes pick up their weapons once more and descend into the dungeons for one, last battle.
It's your typical fantasy story, but for a game of it's time and with little story telling ability, I think it was executed brilliantly.



Overall 9

Maybe it's nostalgia, maybe it's truth, but I think that's what this game deserves. It's that close to perfection.
What would have brought it the 10 mark would have been a greater variety in enemies, yes it's a petty gripe, but swapping colour palettes to represent enemy difficulty just seems... Cheap
But if you're willing to dismiss that, then this game is perfect, and none can disagree. Talk to just about anybody in the street and say "Golden Axe?" and they'll say "Yeah, I remember that game" before regaling you with tales of how much fun they had playing it.
Also, perfection is the reason why that in a Sega compendium game pack that this beasty beauty is featured. It's one of the most memorable games of all time, from it's music to it's characters to it's hauntingly beautiful, yet grim world.
This is a game that has already gone down in history and to be honest, I've seriously wasted my time typing this as you don't need me to tell you how awesome this game is, because chances are, you already know.
And if you've never played it, then I strongly urge you to do so.
Golden Axe, you are a god amongst video games!