Golden Axe

Before I get started, you may have noticed that I never gave the names of what platforms this game is available on, simply because there are too many to note and doing so would make it an absurdly long title.
But, in case you're curious, I shall note them now.
Arcade, Sega Mega Drive/Genesis, Sega Master System, DOS, Amiga, Atari ST, Amstrad CPC, Commodore 64, Arcade Legends Sega Genesis Volume 1, Mobile phone, iOS, TurboGrafx-CD, Virtual Console, WonderSwan Colour, Xbox Live Arcade, ZX Spectrum, Playstation 3 and PSP (As part of the Sonic's ultimate Genesis/Megadrive Collection) and Xbox 360 (Also as part of the Sonic's ultimate Genesis/Megadrive Collection) as well as many mobile phone devices
One can also say it has appeared on the Playstation 2 as part of the Sega Ages collection, though that was a remake, but it's almost an exact replica so I think I'll throw it in the bag too.
And Golden Axe: Beast Rider seems to be a re-imagining of the original Golden Axe, but I'm going to leave that as a seperate game as it is neither a port, re-release or upgrade (as the Sega Ages game was)



Like my "review" of Alexx Kid in Miracle World, my view of this game my be biased as it was another that I enjoyed to play as a child. Yet it is also an almost legendary game amongst gamers and almost revered as godly by some.
Largely inspired the Conan universe, Golden Axe is a fun, yet challenging game set in a barbaric age where myth, fantasy and legend are as one... And even to this day, each playthrough is as magical and rewarded as the first time you played.
Aside from it's many ports the game has three sequels under it's belt (one of them being arcade only), several spin off's and the vastly underrated reboot/re-imagining, Golden Axe Beast Rider (which I shall look at, at a later date)
This blog review will look mainly at the Sega Megeadrive version.
Lets begin, shall we.



Graphics 7

No, I'm not being generous, they truly are that good, You can clearly see everything, the sprites are quite smooth and there is so much detail it's unbelievable, like the Amazonian, Tyris Flare, it's possible to see her belly button, or Ax-Battlers abs.
The building designs also offer up great detail by marking out each brick in a stone structure, each cobble on a floor... The backgrounds in the first level are desolate, giving a sense of death upon the land, the dungeons are dark and gloomy.
Even the little gnomes with their big bulging sacks are detailed with a mischievous grin upon their faces... All until you give them a kick up the arse and it changes to either orgasmic relief as you've wedged your foot so far up it's rectum before sending them flying through the air it did something with their G-Spot (maybe the G in G-Spot is for Gnome?) Or because they are so utterly shocked that you'd resort to playing football with their little lemming-like bodies.
Either way, they deserve it... The thieving fuckers.
Where was I?... Oh yes.
The enemies are also nicely designed, especially the knight on the third stage and Death Adder, both look menacing and make you think twice about attacking them as the slowly walk towards you.
The only problem I do have is with the skeletons, they always look goofy and remind me of Sloth from The Goonies.



Gameplay 10

Honestly now, did you expect anything less? It's the reason why that after 21 years, we still enjoy playing it.
It's the original and best and shall never be matched.
There's just so much to do in this game it's unbelievable, especially for a hack n' slash of it's time.
Aside from picking your warrior (I always picked Tyris, because she's a badass) and prodding and slashing everything in sight with your weapon, you do need strategy.
Enemies will swarm and flank you making you question if now is the right time to attack, if it's the right time to use magic or if you should use totally cheap spam attacks (Running attacks)
Sometimes, if the level permits it, it's possible to despatch your enemy by tricking him into charging you, and at the last minute side-stepping his (or her) attack so that they go flying off the edge of the level.
Tactics like this are useful as if an enemy gets you in his attack, he may drain a few lives from your metre, and you'll need everything you can get.
The Bizzarians also add another element of strategy to this game as they can allow you to turn the tide of the battle.
I think everyone smiled with glee the first time they knocked the enemy from their mount, only to claim it for themselves, and thus a battle for the beast began with you, your foes and sometimes your own allies.
Magic is another useful tool, Gillius has electrical magic, Tyris wields fire and Ax-Battler has earth.
Each is upgradable by the sense of picking up potions from gnomes, but Tyris seems to have the biggest advantage (and the coolest) in terms of magic as her bar holds 8 slots, and filling them up and unleashing the dragon is always a marvellous thing, quickly followed by the magic that remains, one after another... Glorious.
As I've mentioned, the game is rather hard, but with some practice and knowledge of the enemy you face and the stage you battle in, it's easy to anticipate their spawn locations and their attacks making victory quite a reachable thing.



Sound 7

Again, I shit you not.
The sounds in this game are incredible, enemies crash into the ground with a thud when you send them crashing to the stony earth, they scream in pain as they flicker and die, swords whirl through the air creating that cool whipping sound and you can even hear them slice through skin and bone.
The dragons roar, sledgehammers thump, lances thwack and axes hack. Skeletons crumble with a melodic patter as fire rises from the depths of the earth with crackling noise.
Rocks explode as they are hurled through the air, lighting hisses as it descends to the ground, frying all those who dare bare it's path, villagers scream in terror, the already dead... Stay absolutely silent.
All set to a brilliant soundtrack that is as legendary as the game itself, each piece of music fits the level perfectly and sets the mood for the upcoming struggle.
I don't think there's a gaming soul on this planet that doesn't know the music for the first level.
Truly, 'tis a beautiful thing.



Story 6

I know, I'm being over generous with this... But hey, told you I was biased... Or am I?
The plot is fairly simple by all means, Death Adder has taken over the land and under his reign follows a time of darkness, three adventurers seek to stop him and return the rightful king to the throne.
But each adventurer has their own reason for wanting to end Death Adders tyrannical reign.
Ax-Battler's mother was murdered by Death Adder
Tyris Flare's mother and father were killed by Death Adder
Gillius Thunderhead's brother was killed by Death Adder
They all share a common backstory, but it's the fact they seem to be acting out of revenge that makes their actions interesting.
And in the end, when all is said and done, you're requested to perform one last task for the king, it's not over, and so our heroes pick up their weapons once more and descend into the dungeons for one, last battle.
It's your typical fantasy story, but for a game of it's time and with little story telling ability, I think it was executed brilliantly.



Overall 9

Maybe it's nostalgia, maybe it's truth, but I think that's what this game deserves. It's that close to perfection.
What would have brought it the 10 mark would have been a greater variety in enemies, yes it's a petty gripe, but swapping colour palettes to represent enemy difficulty just seems... Cheap
But if you're willing to dismiss that, then this game is perfect, and none can disagree. Talk to just about anybody in the street and say "Golden Axe?" and they'll say "Yeah, I remember that game" before regaling you with tales of how much fun they had playing it.
Also, perfection is the reason why that in a Sega compendium game pack that this beasty beauty is featured. It's one of the most memorable games of all time, from it's music to it's characters to it's hauntingly beautiful, yet grim world.
This is a game that has already gone down in history and to be honest, I've seriously wasted my time typing this as you don't need me to tell you how awesome this game is, because chances are, you already know.
And if you've never played it, then I strongly urge you to do so.
Golden Axe, you are a god amongst video games!

Alex Kidd in Miricle World - Sega Master System

I must admit that my view on this game may be severely skewed and biased as I used to play this religiously as a child.
The game purely captivated me. It's easy on the eyes and friendly looking enough, but deviously deceptive from time-to-time and can be quite evil in places.
For a game that is one month and one day older than I am, it's still a joy to play every now and again and can only wish that I will be able to enjoy it in many years to come and introduce others to it's simplistic charm.



Graphics 8

This scoring may be debatable when compared to lush HD games like Uncharted 2, but for it's time, this game would have looked quite the treat on its 8-bit system.
The landscapes were always colourful and well varied, the character sprites were sharp and well detailed, as were the backgrounds and items.
However, they don't hold up as well on modern equipment, I have my Master System hooked up to my 60" HDTV via ariel connector and the quality takes a dip as the system wasn't designed for such equipment. This affects all consoles that connect via ariel, they tend to give off a slightly fuzzy or furry image, but so do systems that run through scart.
Just for the sake of this, I had to dig out my SDTV and hook it up, and the level of quality in the image was vastly superior.
I must say that this game still looks as great and appealing to me now as it did when I first played it when I was the young age of 4



Gameplay 9

Yes, 9.
It's the simple style of play that gives it such a score. I love 2D platformers for that one reason, they are so easy to pick up and play yet they can be hard to master, levels are always fun and challenging and there are always many hidden nooks and crannies to be found.
Gameplay in Alexx Kidd in Miricle world consists of you playing as what I always considered to be a monkey and the aim is to get to the end of the level so you can chow down on a burger.
A basic level consists of navigated the many platforms, and punching the hell out of anything that gets in your way. Including destructible blocks.
Powerups exist within the game to allow such things as fireballs, invincibility etc, but the best are the levels in which you can obtain a motorbike or helicopter.
Items such as the bike or choppah can be obtained from shops placed at various points in some levels and are easilly affordable, though there are moments where you can find them in the game world itself.
Levels themselves are also quite varied, ranging from cliffs, underwater, marshes, jungles, volcanoes, castles and a couple of other places. Navigating through them is simple enough, but also challenging as there are always enemies ready to block your path.
There are also end of level bosses, but they are unique because they consist of a best 2 out of 3 "Janken" match (Basically it's a game of rock, paper, scissors)
These matches however can sometimes be rather tricky to win, but there is an object you can buy that will allow you to see what your opponent is thinking, though often it does little to help.



Sound 6

It's your standard early 8-bit fare. lots of bloops and crunches, the enemies make no noise, but that's ok.
The music however is brilliant, it's nowhere near memorable, but it's catchy as hell and won't piss you off while playing.
I said though that it's not memorable, yet I can always remember the music to the first castle stage. Maybe that's just me.



Story 3

Yeah, well what do you expect from an 8-bit game?
As far as I can remember, Alexx discovers an old man that tells him he is a long lost prince and his kingdom and family are in danger. He gives Alexx a map and a medallion and Alexx sets off with the intention of putting a stop to whatever has befouled newly, found kingdom.
To be honest I scored this low because that's really all there is, I can't remember any dialogue padding throughout the levels and to be honest, I've never finished the game so I don't know the ending. But the story is typical fairytale cliché



Overall 7

This truly is a wonderful little game, suitable for all ages and a game that's fun for kiddies wanting to play and for adults up for a challenge.
I am saddened however that a lot of today's gamers have no love for retro games and wouldn't think twice about something as simple and charming as this. But then again, 2.5D platformers seem to be making themselves quite popular, so who knows... Maybe they might be interested in the 2D platformers of old. Maybe some game companies will find the little gems like this, give them a polish and sell them through the Playstation Store or Xbox marketplace (This title is actually available for download on the Wii downloadable service)
It's safe to say though, this game will always have a special place in my heart.

Damnation - PS3, X-Box 360, PC

For the very first post in this new games review section of my blog, I thought I'd tackle a vastly underrated and much shit upon game. Damnation.
Yes, you all know the name, and you all know the low scores it received and the general bad press and word of mouth.
Well, I went into this game knowing how bad it it, or should I say, was supposed to be, but after getting through the first stage and getting a hang of the control scheme, I really found myself enjoying this title.
I can however, see why many people got so worked up in hating this game as it's flaws are blatantly obvious and I too would be pissed if I had to have paid full price.
There are clipping issues, significant frame rate drops, poor AI, bad texturing, bad voice acting, outdated visuals, odd control system, bad script... Everything about this game just comes off as bad.



Now, despite all this, there is a half decent, fun little game under this "mess" and everything isn't as bad as everyone seems to say.
From what I've noticed (for the most part), everyone who got past the first level and continued playing could see the little gem that was lodged under the large pile of shit.
Others just threw their dummies out of the pram and jumped on the bandwagon.
It's time to break it down.



Graphics 6.5
The graphics in this game are a mixed bag.
Yes, it doesn't look all that great when compared to a powerhouse game like Uncharted 2, but they aren't half bad either.
They are well polished and you can see what's what, the lighting effects I found were outstanding and the colour scheme was refreshing.
This game is a steampunk western, so lots of browns and greys and to be expected, but the developers tried to add more variety to their colours, such as purples, blues and vibrant greens, they really pay off.
Especially in the Mesa Dorado level.
Textures however. These are fine for the most part, except when on a motorcycle. Then the developers did get a little lazy and just slapped some unrendered textures around, hoping you wouldn't notice since you were zooming along at 200mph.
I've also found the same texture problem in other area's, namely those you really don't need to be visiting.
Character models however look good, especially Jack, she looks fantastic... I think the dev's must have fought over who got to design her. some enemy models seem to be lacking when compared to the main characters, but it's only really noticeable when sniping. And even then you have to look.



Gameplay 8

Ah, I hear the gasps of all those who saw that score. Yes. 8.
I must admit, on the first level, I too was thinking "meh" but I found that was down to the awkward controls (push L3 to reload, hold R1 when climbing to jump back) and the "on ice" crosshair (it never seemed to stop where you wanted it to)
Then I got used to the control scheme, and in regards to the cross-hair, well... like most shooters now, you jam on that stick like you're pulling a U-Turn. In damnation however, the trick is to be quick, yet gentle.
The odd control layout is easily forgotten and soon you do get the hang of it. I did rather quickly, and before I knew it I was sprinting diving across gaps in walkways, wall jumping onto ladders before swinging off poles back into another wall jump to a shimmy and climb up a platform before shooting the total shit out of the stupid bastards that stood in my way.
And oh yes, the enemies are as thick as fuck. But so is your AI partner(s)
Well... They aren't all bad, some stand around like nothings happened after you've popped his mates head from his shoulders, some turn round and try to take you down.
At other points it seems like they've been talking with a military mastermind as they try and flank you in groups while waving shotguns around like ninny's
I did find I preferred the platforming over the shooting segments, but the shooting segments were rather fun.
On top of that, there are a couple of puzzles lying about... And they are smart puzzles, though not too taxing.
Also I'd like to commend the developers on the level design as the levels themselves are like giant puzzles and they are absolutely MASSIVE in scale, each level in the games 6 mission length will take you anywhere from an hour to 2 hours, pretty good in my book... especially seeing as levels now seem to be uninspired and short.
And the bike segments, oh were these fun... Well, actually they reminded me of the bike segments from Tomb Raider: Legend... But with more corners... And wall riding.
But they were a nice change of pace from the shoot this, climb that mentality of the game, they really are quite fun.
There are some bad framerate dips when swamped by enemies though, this is quite a bad thing



Sound 3

Yeah... 3.... It would have been a 4, but two things brought the mark down. Zagato, propaganda speakers.
The bad dialogue and voice acting isn't all that bad, the V.O's make the best with what they have, except Zagato. He over delivers his lines and they sound dumb and clichéd. As for the propaganda speakers, eh, they aren't bad in terms of sound quality... But the repetitive droning drives you mad.
Good thing you can shoot them and shut them up.
Other than that, I had no real problems with the V.O
Everything else is good too, the guns sound fine, they even have a cool hissing sound when you stop shooting, the ambient noises are pretty good and the background music fits the scene.
I can't really complain.



Story 4
This again is cliché
Bad man wants to rule the world but only a plucky band of rebels can stop him while the main protagonist also searches for his lost love.
Been there, done that. Oh... And there's a plot twist... But it's easy to figure out so it's no twist at all.
I'm not going to spoil the story... But I'll say this, it's very reminiscent in terms to RE5's basic structure.



Overall rating 6.5
For every bad thing this game does, it does something right to try and make up for it, at the bargain prices you can get it for now, it's worth a play. If you don't like it, that's fine by me. I just wish people would look beyond the flaws and try and give games like this a chance.
The market is over saturated by generic games and when new games come along, they get dumped on, simply because they aren't call of duty and then people complain that there isn't anything innovatively new coming out.
I know the developer who made this is now bankrupt, but I'd love to see someone else pick up the rights and make a sequel because I feel such a franchise, given a little polish, a lot of care and a big boost has a fair amount of potential... Look at BloodRayne (Before Uwe Boll made those god awful films)